Today was a good day

This has been one of those days that I just treasure.  Maija has been great at napping and when she is awake she has been so happy, giggly and fun to be with.  [After a very crabby day yesterday, I will take it].  Today she fell asleep on me and I just watched her sleep, so peaceful, so precious.  So lately, I've been considering going back to work.  I love being Maija's mama.  I love spending time with her, watching her grow and develop, being a part of these milestones she has conquered but I have been lonely and if I am being honest, bored.  Talking with one of my SAHM in CA before we moved she said, "Being lonely is one of the things SAHM don't talk about".  It's true.  I thought I was the only one.  She mentioned taking the long way home, just so you had something to do.  I guess a major conflict is that I always wanted to be a SAHM, my mom, mother in law and sister were/are stay at home mom's so why don't I feel like it is for me? 

Well, I guess, I am not saying it isn't for me, I am just saying Ryan and I have been talking through me going back to work.  It will have to be for the right job, the right opportunity.  But on days like today, when we do have so much fun, I am not fighting her to go down for a nap and when she even falls asleep on my chest, I second guess the thought of going back to work and knowing that I am a "grass is always greener gal" where does that leave me?  Prayer.  We will continue to pray, seek opportunity and then make a decision together.

Maija went on her first boat ride at my parents cabin.  We found a life jacket probably from the 70's for her to wear.  She didn't love it, she didn't hate it... she had no expression the whole time, which was funny in itself. 

Tonight my sister, husband and Abby come for the week- heading up to the cabin with them tomorrow and Ryan will be going to CA for a wedding this weekend.  I'm sad Ry won't be with us, but he will have a great time at the wedding and I am thankful that as a SAHM I can up and go to the cabin for the week worry-free.

And while playing with Chloe Hoe at my parents, my mom found this snowsuit Krista wore- looks a little big for YaYa but watch out, she might be sportin it this winter!

Words Ryan has banned

I guess I use the same words or sayings over and over again.  In college Ryan hated when I would say, "meep meep" when I was pregnant he band me from saying "braxton hicks" (hello?!  i had them ALL the time!) and now "overtired".  I guess he doesn't realize that Maija will continue to get overtired through High School, plus with siblings, he is in for a real treat of hearing "we need to get her home and to bed, she is overtired". 

So if you think of it the next time you see him, feel free to mention braxton hicks or ask if Maija is overtired ;)  Meep Meep.  (Love you Ry!)

"Hey dad, can I help you with that?"

"Who can sleep when this bumper is so delicious?"

"Hello Mr. Sleep Sheep, I like to cuddle you"

23 Weeks

Still sleep deprived over here but in better spirits.  Got to see Hunger Games with Krista- I don't know why I like that stuff but I am a teenage girl at heart- TEAM PETA! 

Clearly, not in the mood to sleep

Finally asleep with her burp cloth on her head & foot hanging outside- whatever works

Her new facial expression- not sure why but it has been cracking us up!

She has been giving us "kisses"- watch out before she licks you though!

Cuddles.

Little baldy.

Love that smile.

Thankfully even though she isn't sleeping she's still a happy baby and with her extra night feedings she has definitely been putting on some lbs :)

22 Weeks... 5 Months Old!

This was a big week for Maija.  She started solids for the first time.  She can't quite figure it out and just pushes it out with her teeth and makes the most horrific face, so I am not sure if it is just because it is something new or if she really doesn't like the taste!  After trying the last few days, I might take a break and try next week, she might still be too young.  She had her first taste while watching the open ceremony for the London Olympics! 

She has really pushed my limits with sleeping and with encouragement from Susie I decided to let her do some crying when she woke up in the middle of the night last night.  It was around midnight.  Lasted for half an hour and I went in and checked in on her every 10 minutes, patted her, told her I loved her and it was going to be OK and put back in her pacifier.  It was horrible.  It was really sad.  I hated every minute of it, but it worked.  She didn't wake up again until 4am and I am assuming it was because she was hungry- hadn't eaten since 8pm so I fed her and put her back to sleep, she slept until 7:20am!  I am writing this down, so I can remember.  I have created a sleep journal so I can track.  But again this morning for her nap it took her 30 minutes of crying with me checking in 3 times (every 10 min) and she is still asleep 50 minutes later!  I really hope the crying gets less and less over the next few days but I was at a breaking point yesterday and feel this is my only option.  I know people are very vocal about CIO and I never thought I would be a mom who did it, but here I am with my adorable 5 month old and I have no choice.  Like Susie said, getting up 7-10 times a night isn't good for the baby or me. 

So cheers to this next week, praying she sleeps better with each nap and with each day.  Krista is stealing me tonight to go see Hunger Games (thank you Ryan for letting her know I was on the verge of a mental breakdown and needed to get out!).

PS- Had my 10 year HS Reunion on Saturday night, was actually a really good time!

Sleep...or lack there of

As I was looking to post pictures tomorrow for Maija's 5th month birthday (woah!) I took a look at the pictures from this week and they were ALL of her sleeping.  You see, these days, that is hard to come by.  She was born a natural sleeper- took after her daddy :)  then she decided to be more like Grandpa Goff and to not sleep anymore...  too bad.  Nights have been a struggle, naps have been a struggle.  I actually cried for the first time in frustration because she was so tired and was crying but wouldn't go to sleep.  I knew this time would come, but was secretly hoping it didn't.  Now that it is here I know what people were saying when they said, sleep before the baby comes.  After almost 2 weeks of waking up at least 5 times a night last night she slept 9-4!  It was like I was on vacation!  She went back to bed until 6, then I pulled her into the guest bed and we slept until 7:45am!  You have no idea how much I needed it.  This was after she only took 3 naps yesterday all which she cried for 30-60 minutes before and my mom and I kept trying to calm her down.  It's exhausting! 

Anyway, here she is, sleep training... or not.

The swing has been a great tool for getting her to sleep this week. 

Beginning to sleep on her tummy

When we stopped swaddling her we had to cover her hands with socks so she didn't pull out her pacifier.  Now she learned how to grab her pacifier with her socks.

Anyway, I love her and I know we will make it through this hump.  I only hope it happens sooner than later!!!

Minnesota!

I know, it has been awhile!  My gosh, July is just flying by with all of our life changes.  But we now have internet at our new home so I can update more consistently.  The last 4 weeks have been quite the adventure.  Packing up our first home of 4 years with some of our dear friends.  Saying good-bye to everyone and leaving our home of 10 years was pretty emotional. 

Our empty home

The roadtrip went better than we expected, Maija is a good traveler but I think we will wait until she is older to do a roadtrip that long again!  We made our stops in Cedar City Utah, Denver Colorado, Omaha Nebraska, and then my parents house in Minnetonka Minnesota. 

A few days after we got to Minnesota my parents, Emily and Abby came which was so much fun to have the cousins meet.  Some days they were on completely opposite schedules and didn't even really see each other!  Gotta love how much the babes nap during the day.

The adjustment has been pretty good here for Ryan and I.  He started work last week and has enjoyed it so far.  He has played kickball with Krista and her friends and softball with some coworkers already- he certainly doesn't have a hard time getting involved.  We've visted a couple of churches but haven't found a good fit yet.

We have spent a lot of time up at the lake already which is so relaxing and fun.  Maija likes the lake and has loved all the time with Grandpa and Grandma seeing them almost every day! 

Maija has definitely gotten worse and worse at sleeping.  It has been exhausting and frustrating, I know it won't last forever but I am not sure why she has regressed so much over the last 2 months.  I am trying to stop swaddling her but that hasn't gone so well so I am going to keep swaddling her since it's the only way she stays sleeping for any long amount of time.  I know we will have a few nights of roughness to get her to stop using the swaddle.  I'm just not quite ready for it.    Thankfully I can get some naps in here and there when I am really tired. 

All in all, we are so happy with the move.  Apartment living isn't my favorite with a babe but I will adjust and it isn't permanent so I have already begun the house search.  I am more eager than Ryan for a house- we have about half of our stuff stored at my parents house since it won't fit in our new home.  Thanks mom and dad!  Ryan just hates moving that much he doesn't mind :).

15 weeks and a failed camping trip...

This last week has been very exhausting.  Maija has decided it is more fun to get up every 1-3 hours just to check in with mama.  Sometimes I will feed her, sometimes I will just re-swaddle and put the pacifier in, I haven't let her start crying it out yet- I don't feel ready for that yet.  Anyway, no matter what type of getting up it is for me, it is still getting up out of bed.  It can be exhausting but I am thankful I don't have to get up and get ready at 6am every day.  It's OK if I don't shower until noon (as long as I shower before Ryan comes home so he doesn't know). 

Smiling at the baby monitor

Anyway, while Maija is napping I have been packing.  All of our friends, family and jobs know now so I can post it online.  We are moving to MN.  We are so excited to be by family.  I can't wait to have my family a part of her everyday life.  I can't wait to have seasons again.  I can't wait to be at the lake.  But I am sad.  I am sad to leave our dear dear friends.  I am sad to leave our church we love and believe in so much.  I am sad to leave my Bible Study- ladies who mean so much to me and my growth this last year.  I am sad to leave the ocean, the weather, the sun, the harbor, the food... everything about Southern California.  And I am sad that I have officially quit my job.  The job that grew me into a responsible adult, that took chances on me, that really made me a hard diligent worker.  Right now I am focusing on being Maija's mama, I think we make a pretty good team. 

We counted our money jar to go on a date before we move instead of waiting until our anniversary this year.

We went camping on Friday night with the McGuires.  Scratch that, we tried to go camping, but Maija was overdue for a nap and didn't feel one with nature.  So after being awake for 3 hours of fussing Christie and I packed her up and headed back to our home for the eveing while the boys camped it out.  Poor Christie- Maija cried about 15 minutes straight on the drive home- not just cried, but wailed.  She was so tired when she got back home she was zonked out for a few hours. 

Trying to be one with the wilderness

Camping family

2 men and a baby

Photo bomb

Yes, Maija is in the ergo... yes, those are just BB guns

I don't like goodbye parties, I don't like big gatherings so I am trying to meet with friends one on one, in small groups to just be.  Act like it isn't happening and to just enjoy. 

Sunglasses

She loves the mirror

Cheers to the next stage of life.  I am just thankful we get to take little Maija with us.  She is one I could not leave behind!